Doing Singleness Well

At Destiny Church, we’re currently in Love, Marriage & a Baby Carriage, a series on relationships. Last weekend, someone asked the question, “How can single people honor marriage?” in reference to Hebrews 13:4.

Which is a good question.

There are many ways to honor marriage as a single. One of the big ones? Don’t be bitter about your singleness.

When you’re talking to married friends, avoid saying things like, “Well, YOU’RE lucky you have someone to go home with.” Or if they mention something hard about marriage, don’t say, “I’d just be happy if I HAD someone to get in a fight with.” These kind of statements demonstrate jealousy and alienate the married people God has placed in your life. They also breed discontentment in your heart, even if they simply start out as a joke.

Being honest about longing for marriage is fine and normal. It’s when you add a jealous or bitter twist that it becomes problematic. In fact, it is actually dishonoring the season the Lord currently has you in.

In Philippians 4:11, Paul says, “…for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” Even singleness can be walked out with contentment.

Don’t get me wrong. When you struggle with loneliness, it’s not an easy place to be. But singleness doesn’t have to equate to isolation. You can use your single season as an opportunity to reach out to the lonely around you.

Look for people of your own gender who are struggling with loneliness: that person posting angsty singleness FB statuses, or the one that always sits alone. You understand how they feel, so you are perfectly positioned to minister the love of Jesus to them. And you’ll literally be killing your own loneliness as you help someone else with theirs.

You might think, “Well if I just move on with life and make friends and enjoy my single season, then I’ll never get married.” Really? Who’s more likely to catch that special someone’s eye: the one who is in a continual self pity party, or the person who is out there showing kindness to others and vibrantly living life?

As long as you are in your single season, avoid becoming bitter. Instead take every opportunity to love the people Jesus HAS currently placed in your life. That is the ultimate contentment.